Hello, dearest of friends, families, and admirers!
Today I am bored, and therefore I have decided to do an interview of myself. Yes, that's right.
Interviewer: Why hello, Miss Davis. How are you doing today?
Me: Very well thank you, nice bald interviewer guy. (Aside: Have you noticed how interviewer guys are always bald?)
Interviewer: What is your favorite teletubby?
Me: Hmmm....let me think. *ponders* I'd have to say my favorite one of those lovely beings is Lala. She's yellow and sweet, and she has the best part in the teletubby song.
Interviewer: Have you ever thought of *cue scary sound effects* taking your own life?
Me: Maybe. Doesn't everyone?
Interviewer: Yes, well, have you ever made a plan?
Me: No, unless continuing to sit through math class counts as a plan.
Interviewer: What is your favorite part in "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"?
Me: Oh geez, that's a hard one. Ummm....probably the part where they all sing "Bravely Bold Sir Robin." Or, no wait! The part where everyone eats the minstrels and they all go "yaaaayyyy" with deadpan expressions! No! The part where the monks are all chanting and slapping themselves on the head with books! ....I can't decide, okay?
Interviewer: Do you ever dance alone in your room and act completely spazzy while listening to music?
Me: Okay, maybe. Yes. But don't tell anyone.
Interviewer: What are the bathrooms like at your school?
Me: It depends on which one you're talking about: the upscale one in the library, or the darkly scary one in the quad. You'll have to see for yourself.
Interviewer: What is the weirdest dream you have ever had?
Me: The one where one of my friends whose name I will not mention grew up to be Katharine Hepburn and then married my English teacher. You probably didn't want to know that.
Interviewer: Do you think the world is going to end?
Interviewer: If the world did end, what would it end by?
Interviewer: Did you really see Orlando Bloum in London?
Me: Yes. I really did.
Interviewer: Was he as hot as they say?
Me: *laughs hysterically*
Interviewer: What's the name you secretly call yourself?
Me: Not telling.
Interviewer: Is there a giant pink rabbit out there waiting to eat us all?
Me: Heck yeah!
Interviewer: What's your favorite kind of chocolate?
Me: There is not an answer to that question and you know it.
Interviewer: Do you gamble?
Me: Um, yeah. DUH.
Interviewer: Who is your one true love?
Me: Ah ha haaaa....I'm sorry, what was the question?
Interviewer: Is there anything you would like to say before you depart?
Me: Yes. But I'm not going to tell you what it is.