Cassie....and other things

Cassie is my dog. Have you ever had a dog that makes you feel as if you should be paying to look at her?
She's an Australian Shepherd/Husky/mutt. She has eyes that are like deep pools of dark chocolate, a satin nose, whiskers, a velvet muzzle, a rose-pink tongue, silky ears, a sleek grey/white/gold/brown fur coat, and a truly magnificent tail. It is long and feathery and looks like a pennant, and is almost dazzling to look at when the sun shines through the fur at the right angle.
And now that I have finished with that, let us move on.
I'm a writer....sort of. Sometimes I'd say that I'm more like a starving artist. I have most certainly been through every single "How to write a great novel" and "How to write a great first sentence" and "How to develop great dialogue, plot, and characters" site on the internet. I'm sorry, but they're just fun to read.
I procrastinate to no end. I will open my computer sometimes and just sit there and stare at it until my eyes get tired, then pout and slam it shut, not having produced a single word. I will sit on the couch and stare into space, "thinking about my next novel" but really only pretending to think and actually just wondering what we're going to have for dinner tonight and trying to keep my eyes from straying towards the chocolate in the freezer. I have tried every single writer's technique in the whole world. Occasionally I will produce something halfway decent, then think, "Huh. How did I do that?" then promptly put it away, try to write something else, and utterly fail. I find, strangely, that the only things I have really succeeded with are comic things. This annoys me. I mean, I love to read and write funny stuff, but in the end I would rather make my audiences equally laugh and cry.
And then there are the love scenes. *grinds teeth* I HATE the love scenes. I don't know about you, but I can never seem to think of anything to SAY. And when I finally do write something, it seems dreadfully forced. Plus, I'm always strangely ashamed to have anyone read the love scenes. My dad said to me once, "Never write a line that you would be ashamed of having Brother Alan read." (Brother Alan is my English teacher. Does meditation. Is a monk. Totally awesome. Very long story which I will not go into now.) But the problem is, I LOVE reading about love (when it is skillfully crafted, that is) and I, for one, do not think any book should be written without at least a hint of romance somewhere between its pages. Writing it is a whole different kettle of fish. And if I'm ashamed to have my own parents and friends read the love scenes, I don't even want to THINK of what would happen if I let Brother Alan read them.
Grrrr....it's hard. Very hard. But in the end, I will succeed. :)


-Emily <3